God & the whore
There are many ways
to break the seal
like only having
one drink at the bar
the first drunk piss
the first line of coke
the first girl you fuck
the first girl you fuck
that isnt your girl.
Once you do this
you will always go back.
There is no first time
& everytime you'll swear
its your last.
But it isnt and
you hate yourself
more and more,
only it hurts
less and less,
because more and more
you think less and less
of yourself.
You disown your body
It doesnt deserve to feel.
Walk home
numbly into her arms
Its hard to love her now
because
you cant believe yourself.
The whore cooked you eggs
after she couldnt make you
come.
You tried to picture Yours
so your soul would be in it.
She yells like she loves it
Whispers nasty shit in my ear
only her pussys drying up
& Im sick of fucking
nothing.
I cant fuck the whore
like a whore
should be fucked.
Guilt sets in
& this poor body of
flesh beneath me
would love to be loved.
So much in fact
that she stopped
loving herself.
She gave it all to me
Holes like me
Guys with gals at home.
Angels they truly love
& make love to.
The whore gets
fucked & fucked
& fucked & fucked.
She knows they wont come
back.
Unless they are
drunk,
drugged, &
desperate.
She doesnt get kissed
when they leave
& shes left naked with
her cats & tattoos.
Never watch "Kids"
the morning after.
Your dick itches for hours
& you avoid getting tested.
Instead
I prayed
I prayed to God
regardless of disowning him
I prayed anyway
because thats what people do
when their terrified.
They pray
& God just like the Whore is
used & thrown aside.
God just like the Whore
cooks you breakfast & waits.
God just like the Whore is
a scarificationist.
God just like the Whore
wants you to come
wants you to come home.
But God just like the Whore
is shamed.
Your too embarrassed to be
with Him or her
So you fuck & leave
& pray
She doesnt find out.
You pray that she was clean
You pray
God & the whore
dont kill you
for fucking them.
You pray.
This is the piece that caused such a reaction at the City Arts, "Hip Hop Church" event.
I wrote this piece quite a while ago. But I thought it was fitting for the Church theme.
I was terrified to read this piece and even post it. However, its time that the work
I craft in my tiny room on my typewriter be shared. If it offends you, be offended.
If it excites you, be excited. Your reaction is greatly appreciated.
Buffalo.
4 comments:
This piece, as I believed when you read it at hip hop church, is phenomenal. It captures deeply the tragedy and paradox of human desire, our hopeless relationship to god, and the victim in all of us who lashes out, wanting to be wanted. This poem is not, in any way, against or for women. This poem conveys third degree burn vulnerability and an obvious honesty without force. It is simply about human experience. His and ours. Thank god we have buffalo madonna to make art that is worthy of it's attention in this city.
This poem to me is about life and kicking your ass and the guilt you feel for letting it. And praying to a God you pretend that doesnt exsist but the hope you hold onto that He does. It's not about women at all...It's about life, experience, and hope...Instead of jumping to conclusions maybe some people should listen, absorb and then comment...Boooo to those that are too shallow and too caught up into themselves that they don't get it.
Buffalo Mamama
REAL TALK MAMMA B!! BOOOO TO THEM!!
I'm so glad you're sharing this, I love your work. This is definitely not offensive to me. In order to feel offended I would have to feel like the author was judging these "whores", but instead I feel that through even using that word his vulnerability is shown. It was clearly used to draw a contrast between what people see as unholy (whore) and the holiest of things (god), and unite them despite how completely opposite they are. It seems the poem is free from judgment, just a description of swimming in a certain time, and an attempt to gather together seemingly disparate people and experiences into something meaningful. Absolutely beautiful.
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